I remember God giving me these words.
I could not wrap my brain around how the other person was feeling. My mind could not comprehend why they were making the choices they made. In my heart, God nudged me to ask, “Help Me Understand.”
I did not realize at the time the power of these words.
For many years, I thought listening was enough. Maybe you did too.
Listening is important. but by itself it does not produce connection. Try it: sit and talk with a loved one but don’t say anything. No response, no agreement with your words, no offering empathy or understanding. Likely, the person will wonder if you are even listening or perhaps even leave frustrated that you don’t care.
Understanding is the step that brings connection!
When someone listens and truly tries to understand what you are going through and your feelings, then true connection takes place.
Again let’s try it. Next time, your child, spouse, friend, parent or co-worker starts to talk, I want you to do more than listen. I want you to ask probing questions like, “Tell me more, help me understand, or how did it make you feel.” You can also show empathy by saying, “I am sorry this happened or that must be hard.”
Putting yourself in their shoes and really trying to understand how someone is feeling is one of the greatest gifts we can give them.
Whether you are listening to your child share about their day at school, a friend who needs support, or a loved one that is walking through a season of anxiety or depression, these 3 words will change their life forever.
By asking the hard questions and digging deeper, you are reminding them that they are not alone, that you deeply care about what they are walking through, and you will be there to support them.
I pray we can all lean in more today and ask our loved ones, “Help Me Understand.” I believe these words will be life changing.
Made for Hope Podcast Guest!
How to Have Hope Again After Divorce with guest, Jodi Rosser
This is what Sara shares about our conversation!
Today we’re talking about having hope after a divorce or a painful breakup. For writer and podcast host, Jodi Rosser, her divorce felt like the death of her dreams. But in the midst of that season, she also learned so much about family, faith, and what it means to have hope in the midst of broken dreams.
I loved this conversation with Jodi, because she is honest about the pain of walking through a divorce and the experience of finding hope again. She explains how she immersed herself in books that helped her heal, started writing through her pain, and discovered a calling to podcasting in the process.
She also shares how afraid she was of sharing her news with friends. But after being vulnerable with her story she learned, “people are more attracted to your brokenness than your successes.” It was this beautiful truth that allowed her to share her story and create a ministry from her pain.
To listen, click on this Made for Hope Podcast Link