God’s Love: Moving A Ruler’s Length Made All The Difference

Tears began to flow down my cheeks.

A truth that I had known in my head for years started to resonate in my heart.  Alone in my college apartment, I was reading my Woman’s Devotional Bible. I loved all the stories of women intermixed throughout the Scriptures.

As I read about a single mom who felt lonely, abandoned, and unlovable, I realized that I also felt these same feelings. The last year I had been struggling with a severe case of acne and it left me feeling insecure, alone, and unlovable.

The words in Hebrews 13:5, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” helped this woman understand that she was never alone.  She felt God’s love and closeness in the middle of her unexpected storm.

As I read this verse my sophomore year in college, I started to cry. It was the first time I felt God’s deep love for me. I had always known God loved me. I could recite the words to the song, Jesus Loves Me and John 3:16 ever since I was a little girl.

But this was the first time those words traveled a ruler’s length from my mind to my heart. 

I will never forget that night and how God’s love felt so real to me and His presence so close. Even though my circumstances did not change, everything inside my heart changed that night.

Ironically, almost 20 years later, I would find myself in a similar situation as this woman I read about in the devotional. When my marriage of 15 years ended, I also felt lonely, abandoned, and unlovable. Maybe you are feeling these same emotions too. 

Just like my 19-year-old heart needed God’s Word to help me see His love and truth, my 38-year-old self also needed to hear it.

One of my favorite verses during my heartbreak was Psalms 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” I felt God close to me in my heartbreak as I daily ran to Him with my pain.

Just like that night in my college apartment, I tangibly felt God’s presence in my life.

God wants you to know that you are not facing your heartbreak alone too.

Recently, I was a podcast guest on the Halfway There Podcast with Eric Nevins where I share these stories. Honestly, I don’t think I had told the college one before, so I definitely recommend listening. I also share about my new book, Depth, and I talk about intimacy with God, empathy, and how vulnerability breaks the chains of shame.  To listen, click this link to Episode #308.

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