Discovering God’s Provision in the Middle of Heartbreak
“So Abraham called the name of that place, “The LORD will provide”; as it is said to this day, “On the mount of the LORD it shall be provided.” Genesis 22:14
This is a story I seldom talk about.
It’s not the hot topic of a lunch date with a good friend or the highlight of conversation at a family event. Nor is it briefly mentioned during Bible study. Maybe shame is still lurking, or maybe I fear judgement from those who don’t fully understand the situation. But one thing is certain, my silence keeps hidden the testimony of God’s faithfulness during one of the most challenging times in my life.
Today I break the silence. Right here and right now I am opening the door to my heartbreak so God’s goodness can shine bright.
He is Jehovah Jireh and this I know personally because I experienced His provision in a dark and lonely place. A place where the tears would not stop streaming. It could have been the Great Flood. The reality that my marriage was failing smacked me in the face and the future spelled D I V O R C E.
Divorce is an action I promised myself I would never take. My mother had married and divorced five times before passing away from cancer just after my eighteenth-birthday. I made an oath to change the legacy she had handed down. I promised to honor my marriage vows and I was heartbroken at the possibility of not following through on my commitment.
However, my husband’s behavior made it very difficult to stay. It was obvious that his decisions weren’t for the marriage. Then one night he went out with some friends and didn’t come home until the next day. For weeks after, I cried, pleaded and prayed…over and over again. It’s hard to explain but I knew in my heart God was asking me to leave. I didn’t know how, where or when but I knew without a doubt it was the right decision. God gave me peace to move forward.
It might be helpful to understand the weight of the situation…I was a very young, stay-at-home mom with a 3-year-old and a 7-year-old. My husband’s single income made ends meet but it wasn’t enough to support two households. My resume was lacking experience and a college degree. Honestly, I had no resources to move out, get a job, secure an apartment, find daycare, buy work clothes, and provide for my girls as a single mom.
That’s when Jehovah Jireh showed up for me.
He was getting ready to reveal His headship in my life like never before. When my husband failed to be my husband…God filled in. One step at a time, He orchestrated a series of events that provided for all of my needs, both visible and invisible.
It started with a good friend’s husband who was hiring a support staff for his sales team. With my best foot forward and complete trust in God, I submitted an application which led to a job offer. An offer that was far greater than anything I’d ever earned before…a salaried job with enough income to support me and my girls. But this wasn’t just any job, it was the beginning of a very successful corporate career. God provided above and beyond and I felt cared for.
Then, God granted me the strength to stay in my home for three months while I saved money to get my own apartment. This in itself was a miracle because I was mentally and emotionally weak, depleted and depressed. But my Heavenly Father held me night after night. He never left me alone. God made His presence known and it is His presence that enabled me to endure.
The time came to move into my apartment and I had no one to help. My new co-workers overheard me on the phone with U-Haul arranging a truck and they graciously offered to physically move all my furniture and boxes to the new place. They even put together our beds. All at no cost. I felt an overwhelming sense of love from my God; Jehovah Jireh was generously providing for my needs.
There were so many more moments like this during this time in my life. God became as real as the person standing in front of me. I’ll never forget His provision during my heartbreak.
My relationship with Him transformed from a faraway God to an up-close God.
However, the story doesn’t end there. God was working behind the scenes to redeem a marriage that I believed was over. Six months after our separation, my husband returned back to me with a changed heart. I didn’t believe it at first but in time, I learned my husband had met a Christian co-worker who took him under his wing. God had a plan to restore my husband, and it was in the dark place of me leaving him that God was able to accomplish real change.
Now, I won’t lie to you. It took many years for the marriage to completely heal and move forward. That was over 22 years ago and this last year we celebrated 26 years of marriage.
When I look back on my heartbreak, all I see are miracles plastered everywhere.
God provided for me in very personal ways. He became my husband when I need one and He established His headship in my life…a headship that still exists today.
Whenever I am afraid and situations don’t go as planned, I remember how He provided not just physical things like a job and an apartment but also strength, perseverance and peace to move through the heartbreak. He held me. He loved me. He cared for me and He never left me alone.
Almighty God, Jehovah Jireh…to Him I am forever grateful and to Him belong all the glory, honor and praise for seeing me through my heartbreak. If you’re facing a heartbreak today, remember God is a God of deep love, abundant provision and grace beyond the human imagination.
He is Jehovah Jireh- the God comes to us in the middle of our heartbreaks and provides for our deepest needs.
JJ Gutierrez is a corporate career woman turned homeschool mom, writer, ministry leader and Bible teacher. She co-founder of Blue Line Brides Bible Study Fellowship and is the author of Chickening IN- from FEAR to Courageous FAITH and Armor of God for Police Wives. Most days you’ll find JJ sipping iced tea while writing words with her German Shepherd, Bella. You can connect with JJ at her website or on Instagram.
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