“Must be nice.” “Good for her.” “I wish I had…”
If we are honest, we have all used these phrases before. Maybe we have thought them in our heads or maybe we have said them out loud to a friend.
For example: Must be nice that her husband is handy and can help out around the house. Good for her that her whole family is going on a cruise for summer vacation. I wish I had kids that would listen the first time I asked them to help.
What do all of these 3 things have in common? They are a form of Comparison.
At first, these words seem harmless but if we really look deeper, these comparisons can start to either breed a heart of discontentment or a heart of pride.
This is why I would love to recommend to you Nicki Koziarz’s book, “Why Her: 6 truths We Need to Hear When Measuring Up Leaves Us Falling Behind.” I read this book last month and just loved it. I think this book is so important because we live in a time where social media is giving us a window into people’s personal lives. However, I think the window is not accurate because it is only giving us a glimpse.
So, let’s start by looking at Nicki’s first truth in her book, “You need to be Honest.”
So, I thought I would start with a confession! I admit that many pictures that I have posted on social media, if I could go back in time to minutes before the picture was snapped, I was either yelling at my kids to smile and threatening to take away their electronics if they do not cooperate or they were fighting with each other about something in my opinion that was stupid. Can anyone relate to this? I think if we are honest (truth #1), we all put out these amazing family pictures, doing these super fun events together, but no one is sharing about the complete story.
I have a friend who at Christmas time instead of sending out the perfect photo on a Christmas card, emails out some of the worst family pictures of the year. I just love that she is keeping it real! She is being honest which we can all benefit from.
Truly, we all have amazing, fun times with our families but we also have frustrations and arguments. Social media only shows half the picture and makes it seem like everyone has these perfect lives. So we need to implement truth #2 from Nicki’s book, “See It Like It Really is.” I love what she says, “There’s the story we see and then there’s the story of what’s really happening.” I think this is such an important step as we try to stop comparing. We honestly don’t know what is going on behind closed doors and it might not be as picture perfect as Facebook leads us to believe.
I don’t want to share all 6 truths with you because I think you would benefit from reading the entire book but I do want to share one last one: Truth #3: “You Don’t Always Have to be Okay.” Sometimes we go through hard circumstances and the why her struggle can feel even greater during those hard times. She recommends during those hard times to share what you are going through was a trusted friend so they can encourage you and support you. One of my favorite quotes from Nicki’s book says, “The greatest breakthroughs often come from sorting through the ruins of a breakdown.” Wow- this is so good!
Nicki’s book is full of great truth and insight and I hope you enjoy reading it. I want to end with another one of my favorite quotes and truths from her book. “The more okay we become with ourselves and with God’s expression of greatness in our lives, the less and less we’ll ask the why her question. Because when you are so busy working on yourself, you don’t have time to be worried about what anyone else is doing.”
I pray we all focus on becoming the best version of ourselves! Remember: God has made you unique and special! There is no one like you! You are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made!
Note: In an effort to be more faithful (my 2018 word) in my writing, I will be trying to write each Wednesday! Sometimes it will be a book recommendation like above. Other times, it will be an amazing God story that I want to share with you to encourage you.